Life

If you want to know the plan for your life...then you don't want life.

I read that in Conversations with God and I keep trying to remind myself this. It doesn't make sense to me why when I just start to get everything figured out things get complicated all over again...

Tonight we are going to our annual "hot dog" stand for dinner. It's cheap and delicious but, my body suffers the next day.

Tomorrow I think we are going to go to the waterfalls outside of Suva and Saturday heading to the beach. Sunday is Easter and Monday I think I will just relax. Tuesday I will be heading on my Spring Break trip because we don't have school this upcoming week. It will be really nice to get away and enjoy the simple side of Fiji. Suva is so fast paced and I need a little break from the city!

I sometimes get frustrated with myself. Well a lot. Lately I have had all these thoughts and then I think way too much. I am about to go for my first run in a long time. When I first got here I ran a ton and then after about two weeks I was tired of waking up at 5am to run in the slightly less cool weather. The weather here although nice is still overcast. I am ready for some sun.

I talked to my mom today and told her to sign me up for the Twin cities marathon. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I want to do it though and I am committing myself to train. I already thought of what I want to wear during the race. So creepy I know. but I wanna wear some shirt with "Every step for GOD" or something like that on it. I think I will have to iron it on.

I think to much, I am really complicated, I learn stuff everyday, I grow, I change but, I know that no matter how much I want to know my future and what it holds I need to let it fall into place. I would like to think I have grown up a lot but, I still know I have so much to learn. I have been through a lot more then most people my age but, It's all for good reason and it's helped shape who I am.

They saw humans will try to avoid pain and do things that are pleasurable. I think sometimes pain is inevitable and as much as we try to fight it at sometimes in our life we will experience vast amounts of it..some more then others. Some much earlier then others. I hate thinking of hurting, being sad, mad, frustrated.

Things seem brighter in Fiji. Life is so laid back. I love it. I love the people. I wish I had money to help the homeless people here and for myself to live here. I wish I could bring everyone to Fiji to experience the culture. Cause I am loving every little piece of it.

There are times when I miss home. You really can't explain the feeling of studying abroad unless you have done it. It makes you appreciate so much more and it's a very eye opening thing. I am super Independent and I love that I am. It's been 2 months today and I have about 2 1/2 months left to go. Sometimes I think about it and I am like only 2 months till I get home. BUT I am starting to change this way of thinking like I have 2 more months here to enjoy life and live it out to the fullest. I don't know the next time I will be in Fiji and if it's not for awhile my heart will always be here no matter how far away I am.