Sunday, March 29, 2009

This is long overdue!

I debated a long time whether or not I would start a blog. My reasoning behind my debate was that I felt like a blog was like an e-journal if you will. What I mean by this is that it is supposed to be shared information about my trip yet, I need to give it this personal touch but not cross the line of letting people into my deepest thoughts. I have come to the conclusion that I do need to do an online blog to stay connected with friends and family back home. I do have a journal here…actually two of them but, I can’t share those with people back home. So here it goes. The beginning of my online journal a balance I will try to keep.

Fiji for me so far has been quite the experience. It’s been eye opening and it’s hard to explain this feeling to anyone back home. Upon arrival in the airport I knew no one in my study abroad group. I didn’t know what to expect. I was scared. I stepped off the plane holding my breath. Wondering if I was out of my mind doing this…being so far away, on this journey, a journey of what I didn’t know what was then. I have moved around my whole life so I love change in small doses (I almost need it now and then) but this was different. Why was I here? What did God want from me? What was his plan? I was out of my comfort zone but, I was confident that I would figure all this out.

It didn’t feel real (and sometimes now it still doesn’t) that I am here. Its paradise here simply put. No words describe what it feels like to sit on the most beautiful beach watching the waves roll in and closing my eyes to feel the wind on my face. No words describe lying on a hammock watching the stars, driving through volcanic pieces of land, meeting locals who are the most beautiful people inside and out, sitting at a kava ceremony closing my eyes listening to twenty Fijian people sing and play guitar. It’s food for the soul. It’s eye opening. It makes me want to never come home. The people here live with so little yet are so rich in love for one another. Don’t get me wrong it’s been frustrating at times. The Fijian way of life is slow, laid back, and what we would call complicated almost. If you want to get something done you better put aside more than an hour more like days or weeks. It took me a long time to appreciate their simplicity. Something simple such as printing paper can be quite complicated. You have to go five different places and talk to ten different people but, that’s the beauty of it. It’s different but it’s exactly what I needed.

I needed to know that there should be no rush to life. No rush to having the “American Dream” I no longer want. I don’t want the rush of work, marriage, family. I want to be me, love myself, and live my life and then figure all that out later. I don’t feel like my heart is in the United States anymore. It’s a bold statement but it’s true. I want to help people and help kids who have no family. I want to look back on my life and know I made a difference. I want to see something through. Isn’t that what life is all about… loving others? Then I think maybe the United States is not for me right now. I know I am going to have to come home to finish school but, after that my options are limitless being a teacher. I could teach abroad or I could join the Peace Corp. Then maybe I will feel like home is the States after a stint abroad. I think I have always known that I would do something unique in my life. I knew I was meant to get out and finally I am realizing it even though it scares me.

The first 2 weeks here were mostly a vacation. We got off the plane and gathered ourselves. We met our coordinator Kris. He is an amazing man with a heart that I want. He loves God so much, loves his family, and works hard. He is American along with his brother Kyle and Sister Katie who also help us out with transition into Fiji. They are all in their late twenties and have lived in Fiji all their lives. Their parents were stationed in Fiji with the Peace Corp. They have helped us and made us feel at home. I could talk on and on about our travels the first two weeks but, I will highlight some to catch everyone up on my life. Sorry this took so long to do! I stayed at “Beach Cocomo” drank my first Kava there, ate a lovo which is a meal cooked in the ground. Here I saw my first sea cucumber, blue starfish, and swam with baby sharks in the ocean. I sat and watched my first Fijian sunset along the ocean. At beach Cocomo I learned how ignorant we, as Americans, can be. I learned the Fijian way of life is “Live each day today and don’t worry about tomorrow.” From here we took the infamous blue van (which looks like the van from little miss sunshine) with all ten of us to Pacific Harbor “The adventure capital of Fiji.” We met Kris’s family and wife upon arrival at Villa 18. This was what you could call the real world- Fiji style. We had this American style house and pool in the backyard. This is where I learned a lot about each person in the group.

Although each of us were so different I would later learn that we all are connected with our past as well as why we are here. One of my highlights was walking home in the pouring (warm) rain with some members of our group. We were laughing and enjoying life to the fullest in that twenty minute walk home. At that moment is when I felt like I could finally start blowing out that air I was holding in from when I stepped off the plane. When we got back we all jumped in the pool as it was still pouring rain. We experienced our “Fijian limo!” This was a truck with a shelter over the top and ten white kids sitting in the back!! We took this into town and did our motorized canoe, bamboo raft, waterfalls, and Fijian village tour. Although a bit touristy we helped out a village by visiting. The boys of the village sang and danced with us, we ate, and got to boat through what looked like Jurassic Park. I jumped off a sweet ledge at the waterfall! I continually comment in my journal how I feel like I am meant to be here and I know God has a plan for me.

Next, was our village stay. We are talking about a REAL village with hardly any electricity and little running water. Pigs, chickens, and dogs ran around everywhere. The houses were built by hand and this is how many Fijians live. We stayed three days and two nights. My host moms name was Mela with a husband and four kids. I learned how to wash my own clothes, interacted with the family, and drank kava! For those of you that don’t know Kava is a ceremonial drink here in Fiji. It tastes a bit like dirty water and comes from the Kava root. You sit in a circle and say “BULA” clap your hands once, drink it and then clap three times. I got to visit the village plantation wearing no shoes and mud past my ankles! It is where they grow many of their crops. The main eating hall was where we met for breakfast, lunch, dinner and finish with kava. The guests eat first, and then women and the men take home leftovers. We layed out a blanket and ate picnic style. Before dinner each night was a church service conducted in Fijian by my host mother. My host father worked so much that he was hardly at home. He worked to put the four kids through school. We also went to the sand dunes where I learned to surf and hung out at the beach all day. We took a village tour to the schools and the pre-school children sang to us! Made my mental note to help out at a school when I got to Suva (where I am studying)

After our village we went to the Uprising Resort. The most beautiful resort I have seen yet. The girls stayed in a “bure” which is a hut with a thatched palm tree roof. It was so amazing. We had a shower underneath the stars outside! The first day here we swam and enjoyed the resort. Day two we went with Kyle into Suva to check out the city where we would be schooling. On day three we were relaxing and a young man asked if we wanted to swim, snorkel, jet ski, and have lunch for FREE on this island!!!! I was wondering what the catch was so I asked him and he said the resort was making a new brochure and he wanted us in it. So we got to take a boat out to this island, eat lunch, snorkel, and Jet Ski all for free. We were constantly photographed which was fun too. It was the most beautiful aqua blue water I have seen. After our three days we moved into the dorms at Suva.

We started school five weeks ago and so far it’s been relaxed and very laid back…just like everything else here. We have been to “The Beach House” where I went horseback ride along the beach, snorkeled and enjoyed my life. I have been to Momi bay at a backpacker resort. Where we randomly hitchhiked and took about 4 buses and a million taxi’s later. We visited the 7th “sexiest” beach in the world. I got to finally spend some time on the beach just praying about why I am here. I jumped off a huge bridge. We visited our coordinators at their houses which are along the beach. I went to a remote island called Nananu- I- ra where we later found out it was called “Mosquito Island.. yet it was breathtaking”

I have visited markets. I have met countless people who are traveling the world. I have met people from the Peace Corp. I have ridden on countless city buses that have no windows and play loud music! I have seen the most beautiful beaches. I have met the most amazing people. Experienced the Fijian culture. Grown closer to God by seeing his beautiful creation. I have been frustrated, missed my family and people back home, but through it all I have begun to discover who I am and what I want to be. I have some amazing stories to tell people when I get home. This blog hardly touches on anything. I have met people and had in depth discussions about life, religion, family, home. I know each person I have met is in my life for a reason. I have finally been able to let that air out I was holding. Lastly, which I have only briefly mentioned is God. He is really with me wherever I go. He has shown himself to me in more than many ways since I have been here and he is the one reason why I am who I am. So to end this blog all the thanks to the man upstairs.