Sunday, April 18, 2010

Back again.

It's been a year since I have been on here. I don't know where time has gone, begun, or brought me back to where I am. It's weird. I feel like the last year has been a dream. I don't know why I feel like I should be blogging again. I found this old blog and I read the last two entries. My stomache started turning and I couldn't believe I was reading over the words that I wrote a YEAR ago. 1 year ago!!!! That is 300 and sixty five full days. My life was so different then. So now, instead of blogging about being across the world. I blog about being here.

I still miss Fiji every. single. day. I felt so in my element there. I read a post that said we had gotten back from a weekend trip and I was "home." Home- was Fiji for five months. It changed who I was. I don't think my future husband will quite understand me unless I bring him there. I sometimes feel alone in this crazy world. I know I am not. I just think God likes to test me a lot. Or maybe I will just travel the world and help people for awhile after school. Wherever life brings me I am gonna say Jeremiah 29:11 has completely described my life the last year. I have been trusting God to figure out my life plans. Truly I don't know what else to do. I don't know where I will be tomorrow. Let alone a week. I am happy. I really am. I am blessed 10 fold. I trust that everything works out EXACTLY how it is supposed to when it should. In it's own way.

It's weird how 7 hours or thousands of miles I can still miss my family. Here I let work and school get in the way. There it was distance of course...and well, the ocean. It seems no matter where we are in life we put things off..thinking there will always be a tomorrow. We settle. Humans constantly settle for less then they deserve. I am not sure why. It could be our human lonliness. Our desire for a soulmate. Thinking we deserve less. Can't find better. Won't do better. Can't go somewhere. It "can't happen." Let me tell you people. Never EVER settle for less then you deserve and you deserve a lot.

Happiness isn't defined by a person, place, or things. Everyday you wake up and you make a choice to make it a good day or not. I say you choose to be happy.

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